By speaking with clarity and neutrality, you avoid triggering defensiveness or straying off topic. Beware of these pitfalls:
Prefacing. “I'm sorry to have to say this, but,” “I couldn't be more unhappy with you” or “It's disappointing for me to have this chat with you....”
- Lecturing. “It's your job to,” “You should know better than that” or “It's only fair that....”
- Personalizing. “Problems seem to follow you,” “You're hardly innocent here” or “You've let me down....”
- Psychoanalyzing. “You always need to be the center of attention,” “You have a lot of suppressed rage” or “You appear depressed to me....”
- Confessing. “You think you have it bad-listen to my situation” or “I happen to be a recovering alcoholic....”
- Focus on informing the employee of poor behavior and specifying how to improve. Organize your thoughts in threes:
1. The precise problem ("I'd like to discuss a concern about your performance.")
2. Corrective steps ("To address this concern, you must....")
3. Consequences of failing to solve the problem ("If this problem continues, the next steps are....")