Its Monday morning 7:30AM, everyone is rushing around getting ready for school, work, the day’s activities. Your phone is buzzing with work e-mails; texts about soccer pick up, a reminder about a meeting and dance class tonight. Your daughter can’t find her homework and she reminds you that she needs her leotard clean for gymnastics. Your son needs his reading folder signed and did you remember he needs to be at school early for band practice today?
Does this sound familiar? For many families this has become a way of life. The amount of activities offered to children has dramatically increased and this, coupled with families increasingly having two working adults in the home, has led to an overscheduling epidemic. For children the effect of overscheduling may be subtle and experts can’t seem to agree on how much is too much. So what are some signs that your children are overscheduled?
The definition of overscheduling, and the stress that comes with it, varies from child to child. Typically, children who take part in one or two scheduled activities per day or several per week are considered to have heavy schedules. Since the amount of activity that a child can handle may vary, it is important to check in regularly with your child to make sure they are still enjoying the activity.
Signs of stress that overscheduled kids may exhibit include headaches and stomachaches, withdrawal or reluctance to take part in activities, and changes in sleep or eating patterns. Any sharp change or decline in behavior or schoolwork should prompt parents to assess the child’s activity level. It is normal for children to sometimes complain about structured activities especially when it may take away from time with friends or other things like television or computer time, however chronic complaining or reluctance to participate in activities may mean your child is overscheduled.
The stress associated with overscheduling is usually mild and can be alleviated by simply decreasing the number of activities in which a child participates, however sometimes that stress can lead to depression and anxiety in children. Symptoms of depression include irritability, hopelessness, loss of pleasure in activities that a child once enjoyed; changes in sleep and appetite, reduced energy and social interactions, and a decline in performance at school. Any sudden or sharp changes in behavior should prompt parents to consider seeking help.
In addition to activities, child psychologists say it’s important for families to spend time together, and for children to be allowed to play and explore, without structured schedules. There is nothing wrong with enrichment activities as long as parents make sure that children have enough down time with no activities. If you find that your child is unable to simply entertain herself without structure, it could be a sign that your child is overscheduled. Something as simple as sitting down for regular family meals has shown to have in impact on a child’s mental health as well as potential for future substance abuse or delinquency issues.
It is important to remember that extracurricular or non-school based activities are great for children, helping them to explore new talents, learning to work as part of a team, as well as providing structure in their lives. However, as with most things in life the key is moderation.
References:
10 Signs Your Kids Are Overscheduled-www.realsimple.com
Cook, Eliza and Dunifon, Rachel: Do Family Meals Really Make a Difference-www.human.cornell.edu
Overscheduled Child May Lead To Bored Teen-www.webmd.com
Overscheduled Children: How Big a Problem-www.nytimes.com
Overscheduled Children?-www.wsd.k12.ca.us
Sarah is a Connecticut Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 20 years of experience working the mental health field. She is currently employed as a Behavioral Health Clinical Care Manager in Connecticut working to assure that Anthem members receive the highest quality care in the most appropriate setting.