As the school year approaches it is very common for children to begin to have anxiety about returning to school. It is important to remember that anxiety in children often looks different than it does in adults. You may find yourself wondering why your usually obedient 10 year old is suddenly talking back and refusing to do things you ask. You may find that your kindergartener has started to suck her thumb again.
It is very typical to see changes in behaviors in school age children before the start of the school year as a result of back to school anxiety. Here are a few tips to help your children (and you) ease the transition back to school.
1. Take away unknowns
For children, as well as adults, change can be difficult. You can make the transition back to school easier by removing as many unknowns as possible. There are usually back to school activities that your child can engage in such as an open house where she can meet her teacher before school starts or a letter from the teacher can help ease some anxiety. Many schools have websites where your child can go on line and “meet” her teacher. Talk to your child about what she remembers, and liked, about school last year. Talk about where her new classroom will be and what friends will be in your child’s class this year. Removing as many of the unknowns as possible is a very effective way of decreasing your child’s anxiety.
2. Don’t just reassure, problem solve
While it is often a parent’s job to reassure her child that everything will be fine, sometimes telling kids not to worry is not enough. Instead try talking about scenarios that may come up or that may be stressful and talk about how your child can handle that situation. Helping your child come up with a solution on his own not only helps decrease his anxiety about the situation but also builds confidence that your child can solve other problems in the future.
3. Focus on the positive
While it is important to reassure and problem solve about things that may come up, it is also important to remind your child about all of the things they like about school. Talk about what friends your child will see, about your child’s favorite subject. Talk about what new things your child hopes to learn and do in the coming school year. Take your child shopping for some “swag”. New back to school clothes and supplies are a great way to keep your child focused on the positive aspects of returning to school.
4. Know your child (and yourself)
Knowing your child’s personality can be key to knowing how to handle back to school anxiety. If you child is not prone to being nervous do not plant a seed of worry. It is important to talk about returning to school but there is no reason to create worry where there is none. Be aware of what is your concern and what is hers. Often parents will tend to put their own fears on their children. Let your child talk about what, if any, her concerns are before you start trying to give advice.
5. Get your schedule back on track
As summer rolls on it seems that bedtimes get later and later, as do wake up times. Meals are eaten on the go, or skipped in favor of that ice cream cone. As the school year approaches, it is important to get your child back into her regular routine. Going to bed and waking up should return to her school year time. Meals should be eaten at regular times and should return to well -balanced options if they have strayed from that. Nighttime rituals such as story time should resume. Having a regular routine is one of the most effective ways to manage anxiety in children whether they are returning to school or not.
6. Normalize
It is very helpful to remind your child that he/she is not alone in their concern about the return of the school year. Talk about how friends and even teachers get nervous before the start of the school year and that usually there are activities that are done in the first few days of school to help make the transition smoother. It can also be helpful to tell your child about a time you were nervous trying something new. Knowing that the person they look up to the most had (and maybe still has) these same fears is very helpful in decreasing anxiety.
It is important to remember that fear and anxiety are typical as you and your child transition into a new school year. Usually these feeling are only temporary and they should decrease quickly and disappear after a few days or weeks. If you find that your child’s anxiety persists then it may be appropriate to speak with the child’s teacher or the school counselor. If this does not improve the anxiety, consulting with your child’s pediatrician should be your next option.
References:
Munson, Dr. Joan Simeo . Young Kids and Back to School Anxiety: How to Shrink it All Down. Retrieved from http://www.empoweringparents.com/Reduce-Back-to-School-Anxiety-for-Young-Children.php#
Helping Your Child Cope With Back to School Anxiety. Retrieved from http://www.anxietybc.com/parenting/helping-your-child-cope-back-school-anxiety
Del Rosario-Tapan, Cindy. 16 Ways to Prep for School Separation Anxiety. Retrieved from http://www.anxietybc.com/parenting/helping-your-child-cope-back-school-anxiety
Lee, Katherine. Tips to Ease Back to School Anxiety. Retrieved from http://www.anxietybc.com/parenting/helping-your-child-cope-back-school-anxiety
Gupta, Dr. Sanjay. (2013, August 1) When School Makes Kids Anxious. Retrieved from http://www.anxietybc.com/parenting/helping-your-child-cope-back-school-anxiety
Sarah received her Bachelor Degree in Psychology from The George Washington University and her Master Degree in Social Work from The Catholic University of America. Sarah interned with the Department of Mental Health in Washington DC and at the Psychiatric Institute of Washington. After receiving her MSW, Sarah was on an homeless outreach team in Washington, DC for many years working with chronically mentally ill homeless adults. Sarah specializes in chronic mental illness and has worked at psychiatric hospitals in Washington, DC and Boston, MA. She also worked as a bicycle courier to support herself during college and graduate school. Sarah currently works as a Behavioral Health Clinical Care Manager and has worked at Wellpoint for over 10 years. She is an avid runner who has completed several marathons and half marathons. She loves the beach and spends as much time there as possible in the short New England summer.