“Who do you love more?” As the mother of two competitive boys, I haven’t heard this directly yet, but it’s implied all the time. Just the other day I was asked “Whose drawing do you like better?” and “I’m better at pushups, right?” My boys have wildly different strengths and personalities, and I am mindful not to label them as the “active one” or the “smart one,” etc. I try to give equal time and energy to the two, but in developing authentic relationships with each of them, my interactions and affections with each of them are not the same. I think it would be odd if everything were exactly the same; we are three unique people. Still, the perception of favoritism can be as harmful as actual favoritism. Articles like the following remind me to be aware of all the dynamics at play.

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2016/04/04/when-parents-have-a-favorite-child/#

Claire is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with expertise in body-oriented psychotherapy.  She works as a Behavioral Health/EAP Consultant, providing workplace consultations to employers and assessment and referrals to clients.