For some people an attitude of gratitude just comes naturally. It just seems to be a part of their DNA. They appear to be naturally gracious. But if you are like me you have to remind yourself to be thankful.
According to Author Susie Michelle Cortright on the “Living Life Fully” website, http://www.livinglifefully.com, if we are focusing on things we are grateful for, we have less time to focus on the things we want or do not have. To put it another way we have less time to focus on the negative if we are looking for the positive.
“We can always choose to perceive things differently. We can focus on what's wrong in our life, or we can focus on what's right.”
--Marianne Williamson
Many of us have to make an effort to take the time to be grateful. I am sure that I am not alone in this struggle. Several years ago I heard about a technique that talk show host and entrepreneur Oprah Winfrey uses. She spends time every night before bed writing five things she is grateful for. What a wonderful way to end the day and prepare your mind for slumber.
“Choosing to be positive and having a grateful attitude is going to determine how you're going to live your life.”
--Joel Osteen
Cultivating gratitude sets the tone for our outlook on life. Some of us have to be deliberate in focusing on gratitude for what we have. We have to reframe our thought patterns and turn our attention to concentrating on the positive things in life. Oprah has found her way to do this by writing in her gratitude journal.
“It was ingrained in me to be gracious.”
--Tory Burch
In addition parents can foster an attitude of gratitude in their children. According to an article written by Charlotte Latvala for Parents Magazine, children are self-centered by nature. Teaching them to appreciate people and things in their life will teach them to be empathetic with others and increase their awareness of the people around them. Parents pass their attitudes and beliefs on to their children. They see what we focus on and what is important to us and they mimic it. Some things they experience and learn at an early age carry throughout their lives. Teaching them early to have a grateful attitude makes for good practices in the future.
So how can parents cultivate gracious attitudes at home? Be deliberate in including it on a daily basis and throughout the year. The upcoming holidays are a great time to start to incorporate some activities and begin this process. However, many of these activities can be done year round. Try some of these suggestions but you may come up with some of your own. There are others discussed on the resources below. Have fun with it!
- Take a walk and notice the nature around you, notice the sky, notice the animals, notice the breeze or the warmth of the sun on your skin and notice the trees. Take a moment to appreciate them.
- Volunteer – help organize an event to make sack lunches for the homeless, Help organize the clothes closet at a local shelter or thrift store, serve Thanksgiving dinner at a local food bank.
- Help your child go through their closets and find items that can be donated to other children that need them. Be sure to take your children with you to donate them.
- Organize a food or coat drive in your neighborhood.
- Do fun art projects. For example, cut a ring out of cardboard, about 12”- 15 “diameter and about 2” wide. Use a leaf punch to punch out leaves from fall colored paper. On Thanksgiving, while dinner is being prepared, have everyone in the family go around the room and write something they are thankful for on a leaf and tape or glue it to the ring. Keep going around the room until the ring is filled with leaves and looks like a wreath. Put the year on the back and make a new one each year. Then you can go back and see how your thoughts and things you are grateful for change over time.
- Every time someone in your family gets a new item, it can be new clothes, or a new toys, have them donate an item they no longer use or need.
- For young children you can glue pictures to a poster board and make a collage from pictures cut out of magazines or draw pictures of things you are grateful for.
- Do something nice for an elderly neighbor, rake leaves, make a card, and put their trash out on trash night.
Remember an important part of the process is in the discussion that happens before and after the activity. Ask questions like: What was that like for you? What do you think that was like for the recipient? How can we keep this attitude of gratitude in our daily lives? Discuss how you can impact the lives of others. Latvala encourages daily conversations about gratitude. She suggests dinner time conversation where each family member discusses the good things that happened during that day.
These are just a few ideas but you can come up with a few of your own. Making gratitude a daily, moment to moment, attitude is important to making it a lifelong endeavor.
Resources:
Latvala, Charlotte, (N.D.), Teaching Children to be Grateful. Retrieved from http://www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/development/behavioral/teaching-children-to-be-grateful/
McCreddy, Amy, Nov. 19, 2014, Get Grateful! 20 ways to teach kids gratitude from tots to teens. Retrieved from http://www.today.com/news/get-grateful-20-ways-teach-kids-gratitude-tots-teens-1D80297963
McCreddy, Amy, Nov. 5, 2014, Truly Thankful: 5 tips to teach kids real gratitude. Retrieved from http://www.today.com/news/5-ways-teach-kids-real-gratitude-1D80266290
Winfrey, Oprah, (n.d.) What Oprah Knows for Sure About Gratitude, retrieved from http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Oprahs-Gratitude-Journal-Oprah-on-Gratitude
Debra started her career with a Bachelor’s degree in Business Administration from Florida Atlantic University and worked for 15 years in business management and human resources. She then made a career change by earning her Bachelor’s degree in Psychology at Kennesaw State University & her Master’s degree in Professional Counseling at Georgia State University. She has worked in the mental health field with adults of all ages including young adults and geriatric adults for the past 5 years in various capacities. She has worked as a group therapist in an outpatient treatment program, as a Mental Health counselor in an in-patient adult geriatric program, and as a community mental health counselor. She has interest and experience in depression, anxiety, women’s issues, family/work balance, parenting, and stress management. She enjoys spending her leisure time with her husband and three adult sons, going kayaking, quilting, and gardening.