When I am working with parents, I often hear how different and much more difficult it seems to be a teenager in today's age. I don't feel that parents are entirely in the wrong when they tell me this. Sure, being a teenager is a pretty challenging time in life, regardless of when you might have been one or might end up becoming one. Hormones are running rampant, your frontal cortex (where your ability to use logic happens) is still developing, and your amygdala (where your emotions happen) is dominating your reactions, and by design, you are just a little more imbalanced than you probably will be when you reach adulthood. In the moment, little things can feel like the "end of the world" to teenagers because of the emotional intensity that is being experienced in response to them, despite how small they may seem from the outsider’s perspective. Teens also experience a decreased ability to see beyond the immediate moment, which can also attribute to things feeling catastrophic.

Still, being a teen in today's age seems considerably more challenging than it was even a mere 15-20 years ago, and while some of the factors that make that true have been present and consistent over eras, today's generation is faced with new and different factors that amplify existing challenges. One of the biggest changes that I feel we have faced as a society is the spark and growth of social media. Social media has been linked to a rise in a multitude of mental health related issues, some of which include higher rates of disordered personality traits such as narcissism, increased rates of depression and feelings of loneliness, as well as more prevalent rates of substance abuse, particularly amongst adolescents. In 2011, The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University released a study which found a connection between substance use/abuse and usage of social media platforms. This could be attributed to the fact that social media was allowing teens to look into the lives of their peers and also placing a spotlight on their own personal existence.

So am I saying that Snapchat and Facebook could influence your teen to be taking shots or popping pills from a friend's household medicine cabinet? If your teen is seeing his or her friends partying on their Facebook newsfeed, it may be more harmful to them than you’d initially think. 

As a teenager, your identity and opinions are more heavily influenced by your social circles. Teens also experience a phenomenon called the imaginary audience, which basically equates to a feeling that those around you are enthusiastically listening to or watching your every move. During the awkward time of adolescence, this can also play into a feeling that those around you may be noticing things that may be fairly minimal, like a pimple on your back or the fact that you grabbed two different colored socks that morning, which can attribute to increased levels of stress for young teens. This has been true of teenagers in any time period. However, with the ongoing rise of social media platforms, the imaginary audience has now become an actual audience, and for many teens today, the voice of your peers now has a greater presence in day to day life. Most of us are familiar with the influence of peer pressure on adolescent substance use, and it makes sense when we stop to think about the impact that social media has on that pressure. Social circles now extend beyond those we encounter in our immediate day to day life, and those who we do encounter in our everyday lives become unavoidable. So if your teen is seeing their friends taking drugs or drinking alcohol on their Instagram feed, it may lead them to believe that they may have to do the same in order to find acceptance or fit in. It also can lead teens to think that substance use may be normal and everyone is doing it. 

So what do you do as a parent to help keep your kid from using drugs?

As a parent, there are definitely things you can do to help your child, rather than trying to put a ban on Facebook or Twitter accounts. Assisting your child in finding a sense of belonging and building a positive collection of coping skills are both simple things that can have huge impacts on keeping your kids sober. The ability to use coping skills during challenging situations allows for us to face stressors head on, rather than practicing avoidance or turning to substances to numb out whatever may be bothering us. Coping skills can be a pretty broad term and what works isn’t always the same for everyone. Sometimes avoidance in the sense of reading a book or playing a video game can actually be helpful for teens. Relaxation techniques, such as meditation or deep breathing can also help in reducing stress and anxiety. Basic self-care such as eating a healthy diet, getting adequate sleep, exercising, and staying engaged socially, can also help.

Staying engaged socially can help in teens developing a sense of support, as well as a feeling of belonging or acceptance within their world. Having a sense of belonging has been found to be a protective factor in keeping kids from initially experimenting with drugs and has also been found to help in keeping teens sober when they are recovering from active addiction. Of course, this relates to sober social support, since kids often do find that they feel a sense of false belonging amongst friends that also use drugs or drink alcohol. Social media use can also create false feelings of belonging or inclusion. Seeing posts from your peers and receiving “likes” on your posts, can trick you into thinking you are actually involved in their lives or that they are invested in yours. 

Involvement in sports, clubs, faith or spirituality based communities, employment or volunteer work are all great ways for teens to find a more authentic connections with those whom they may be able to share more with than simply just a drug of choice. Having a solid circle of social support has also been found to be a protective factor in refraining from using drugs or alcohol. This has been true across all ages, but it may be arguable that the impact it has on adolescents is far stronger than it is in adults.  Encourage your kid to get out there and get involved! Chances are that it will keep them engaged in real life (or “IRL” as they’d probably say) and naturally minimize how much they are playing on social media apps on the computer or cellphone. As human beings, we naturally crave connection, and while technology continues to strive to help us in feeling consistently connected, it has been shown that it doesn’t really offer the same benefits as the real thing.

What can we say? Some things technology just can’t replace.