A typical family? I don’t think that exists. 

 

Families are more than 2 parents and 2 children sharing a house surrounded by a white picket fence.  Parents aren’t always married and couples don’t always have kids.  Families are grandparents raising children, single parents, foster children, same sex couples, the single person and pet. Today, these are “typical” families.  Some might consider neighbors or their Bridge partner part of their family system.

 

It’s an interesting subject – FAMILY.  We all define it differently.  For some, it’s a hard-and-fast rule:  anyone who is a blood relative.  For others it’s who we live with.  Still for others it’s anyone with whom we feel a close, personal connection; an intimate group of supports who love and make sacrifices for each other. 

 

And it can be confusing.  We make sense of the world and our place in it by categorizing things - putting behaviors/lifestyles in boxes.  We call it organization.  Order.  While this seems harmless and a good way to understand our community, when it’s taken to extremes we exclude people and ideas.  (“This is a family because mom and dad are married and they live together.  That isn’t a family because that person lives alone with his cat.”)  We’re less apt to consider different ways of thinking and living. What was once supposed to help us all get along and live harmoniously is now the thing that divides us.

 

The reality is that all sorts of family systems have existed throughout history.  There have been single moms and gay couples and foster kids and grandparents raising children for forever.  Maybe it wasn’t as common as it is now.  Maybe that means we’ve grown some as a society.

 

To better understand what family means to someone, maybe it helps to know a little something about that person as well as the dynamic between beings.  Could others be considered family if you like hanging out with them?  What if they support you financially?  Emotionally?  Are others part of your family if they bring you holiday dinner when you have no relatives living close by?  How about the ones you turn to for comfort or to share good news?

 

The short answer is, of course, yes. Yes, if you want that person/pet/roommate in your inner circle. The theme here is mutual compassion and connection. 

 

That may not be the same way someone else sees it - there are less-than-supportive relatives that we depend on to live, grow, and learn from.  It doesn’t always turn out the best.  The good news is, while we may not get to pick our bloodline, we can choose who we want in our lives for love and support.

 

All of these family systems are what a lot of us more readily consider “family” today as opposed to fifty-plus years ago.  Is this progress and growth? 

 

It is if we embrace these differences and work to understand one another.