“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”
― Dr. Seuss
Valentine’s Day is not only a time for you to honor and acknowledge the people you love, but it is also the perfect time for you to consider a practice of self-love. In our busy lives, it is all too common to push ourselves to the background and continue to stay busy with everyone and everything else. Loving yourself is not negative, arrogant, egocentric, selfish nor narcissistic. By definition, self-love is the practice of taking responsibility for “self” through love, having a positive regard for your own happiness in the belief that you are worthy, valuable, and loveable. This practice may take an intention and will require you to have a change in your beliefs, attitude and feelings on a level that comes from the heart by prioritizing your own well-being and happiness.
One of the most important reasons to start a loving practice with yourself is the cardinal rule of relationships. This collective belief holds that in order to experience authentic, deep, and genuine love, we must first love ourselves. We cannot give or get what we do not have. Self-love can be spiritual, emotional, and physical extending the love and care that we give to ourselves to others. This idea of reciprocity in giving and receiving to self and others is that when you are able to fill your own “cup” you have more to give. What radiates out from us, attracts others. If you cannot truly love yourself, or hold the belief that you are unworthy or unlovable, then no one else can.
How to Love Yourself More
Start a practice to take better care of yourself physically, emotionally and spiritually.
When we do not have the intention of loving kindness, we may cut corners on self-care or neglect it entirely. Take time everyday to clear and calm your mind. Clear your thoughts by focusing on your breath, deeply, in and out of your lungs. Focus your thoughts on what you have to be grateful for every day. Start your day by acknowledging something really positive like how you handled a situation, or something that makes you smile. Practice good self-care not just physically but also emotionally and spiritually. You will love yourself more, when you take better care of your basic needs through healthy activities, better nutrition, exercise, proper sleep, and connection through social activities. Focus on your story and when you catch yourself comparing your life to someone else’s, appreciate your uniqueness. Take time to listen to your intuition, your inner voice that is sending you messages about your body around your own physical, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing.
Practice self-love by aligning with your personal values, intentions, and goals.
Align yourself with what feels meaningful, rewarding, and complete while honoring your personal boundaries. Set boundaries by saying no to anything that may deplete or harm you physically, emotionally and spiritually. Protect yourself by bringing the right people into your life and end any relationships that are not life giving. Take on a new hobby or interest where you can align with healthy people who have the same values, intentions, and goals. Think about your passion; and. if this is something that you have let go of, think about ways to bring this back into your life.
Accept your whole self.
Positives and negatives, good or bad, as Dr. Seuss says “you are you”. Perfection is an unrealistic expectation, so have compassion for yourself. Accept yourself without judgment and work on the areas that you want to improve. You do not have to be perfect to be loved. Start your day with the mantra, “I am loveable” and “I deserve happiness”. Each day remind yourself of what you appreciate about yourself. When you are looking in the mirror, be kind.
Healthy self-love also means speaking kindly to yourself. Find ways to disrupt the “inner critic” in your head. Speak to yourself kindly, you don’t deserve harsh. Read more in the article, Nurturing Self-Talk: A Kinder Voice Inside Your Head
Practice love and kindness with others.
Everything comes full circle. People who love themselves come across as very caring, generous, and kind to others. Self-love allows us to express self-confidence through humility, forgiveness, and inclusiveness. When we are able to practice compassion, forgiveness, love, and acceptance and see our own potential we are able to appreciate and hold this for others. When we practice self-love, we are able to give and receive. Building your own practice will also strengthen and deepen your current relationships.
If you don’t love yourself, who will? What can you do to practice self-love in your own life?
How Do You Define Self-Love? | Psychology Today
Nurturing Self-Talk: A Kinder Voice Inside Your Head]
A Seven-Step Prescription for Self-Love | Psychology Today
Why You Need to Cultivate Self-Love - psychcentral.com