Resilience is a skill we can tap to bounce back from the pressures and setbacks of our lives. Whether it’s something small like losing a ball game, or a major struggle like a life threatening illness, resilience is the ability to effectively cope with adversity.
Recent studies in neuroscience have discovered that resilience is not something we are born with or a part of our genetic makeup. Resilience can be learned and a tool we can develop to use in the pursuit of wellbeing.
Here are some tips to create, sharpen and use the resilience tool!
- Build self-awareness, by engaging our “Observing Witness”. We all have the capacity to find a psychological spot in our own awareness to patiently and non-judgmentally observe our own behavior and thoughts. Building resilience begins with connecting to our self-awareness without self-criticism or a high level of emotionalism, but with a “wise mind."
- Accept and live in the “what is” as opposed to the “what if”. Change is a part of life. Worrying about what may happen vs what is happening in life can add another dimension of stress that defeats wellbeing. Accept and live in the present. Take action and make decisions that impact “what is”. This increases effectiveness and avoids worry, which drains wellbeing! Planning for the future is important; however worrying about the future is like paying on a debt you may not owe!
- Turn life trials into life learning! With a little emotional distancing, self-awareness and optimism, we can turn our traumas into triumphs. Inside each of life’s trials is the gift of wisdom. Re-write each of life’s challenges from a learning perspective, moving from surviving to thriving by applying what we learn from our past to improve our future!
Make these three tips a part of everyday living, and you’ll find the path to building resilience a rewarding and fruitful experience!
Here are a couple of resources to support your quest.
Fralich, T. Cultivating Lasting Happiness-A 7 Step Guide to Mindfulness. 2nd edition.
Kabat-Zinn, J. Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life.
Thomas Edgar, MSW, MHS, LCSW is an Anthem Care Manager assigned to the Behavioral Health Resource Center and EAP. His professional experience includes private practice in behavioral health and extensive experience in the development and delivery of employee assistance programs and services to business and industry.